The other day, during Spring Break, I was upstairs scrubbing toilets (*cough*ok maybe I was laying down) and the kids were downstairs reading books (ok, maybe they were watching some cartoons). I had given them strict instructions to stay out of the kitchen and not to go anywhere near the pantry.
I heared an incredibley loud CRASH!
I knew glass was involved and I yelled "Don't Move!!!" in an attempt to keep injuries to a minimum.
I ran downstairs. All of the kids were standing in the family room with Scared to Death eyes.
I turned the corner in to the kitchen and found this:
I stood and stared at the mess for about 10 minutes trying to figure out where to start (and taking pictures). There was glass shattered across the entire kitchen. SOMEONE had used the pantry shelves as a ladder in an attempt to grab the forbidden box of cookies at the top. This is something we have caught all of our kiddos doing at one time or another and they KNOW they are not supposed to climb the shelves. Well, this time they got a big surprise. The shelf did not hold and the huge jars that were once filled with flour and sugar crashed to the ground. I'm not sure how they climbed down from the shelves AND dodged the jars at the same time!
Well, I've decided that I just can not take another rejection from Iheartfaces! The competition is just too fierce, the photographers TOO professional! I'm just removing myself from DreamLand and realizing that I need a little more practice! So, I am going to copy their theme but forego submitting my photos for their judgement. I really like the days when I can add to my Post tally without having to flex my brain muscles. This weeks theme is Dramatic Black and White Photo and I happen to have photos just waiting in my My Pictures folder (making this post even easier).
Not too dramatic, but this photo was taken with actual Black and White Film when Lily was about 6 months old. I had to scan it so the quality is not as good as IRL.
Then I took pictures of all the other kiddos at the same age. All of their shots are hanging in our bathroom.
To the kid at the park, Thank You Very Much for stealing the rocking horse just as Daisy was reaching to get on! Where is your mother and why does she allow you to behave like that? You are lucky that I distracted my girl before she raked her fingernails across your leg!
Thank You Very Much to my darling boys who I normally have to drag out of bed at 7am to get ready for school, but who have gotten themselves out of bed at 6:30am every morning since they have been on Spring Break! I let you stay up late for a Wii tournament so give me a break boys! Sleep in!
To Survivor, and more specifically The Villians for giving me stomach aches and heart palpatations, Thank You Very Much. I am LOVING this season and find myself cheering for you despite your evil reputations (mostly because the heroes are poor losers). Please please please, Get rid of Russell.
To the pack of teenagers who decided to have Fight Club on the same field where our boys were trying to have t-ball practice. Thank you very much for scaring us and forcing us to load everyone up in the car BEFORE practice was over. For the love, can't you find something useful to do?
Thank you very much to the cops for showing up with sirens blaring and causing the hooligan teenagers to scatter in every direction. Good luck taking care of this problem!
To the person at our house who was responsible for giving Daisy a bath the other night. Thank you very much for keeping an eye on her from the other room where I know you could see her but couldn't get there fast enough to stop her from pulling my towels in to the tub with her. Then after realizing she was probably done playing in the tub, washing her hair before you got her out of the tub. I'm sure it was shocking when after the third cup of water to rinse the shampoo you noticed an odd object floating in the tub. Yes indeed, Daisy had pooped in the tub. So, now my towels, EVERY bathtub toy, the tub and Daisy needs to be disinfected Thank You Very Much! Who could this unnamed person be? I'll give you one guess!
I searched through all of my photos for a "Bundled Up" shot that I could submit for IheartFaces this week. There's just not much bundling up goin' on here in Phoenix! So I thought I would send all of you, who aren't going to have 85degrees this week, a nice warm-up hug!
Thank you for your recent letter informing us of the following, major violation:
You have a Salt Cedar growing inside another plant. This is a noxious weed and will kill your othre plants. The plants noted above are prohibited in the Design Guidelines for planting and according to the CC&Rs Article 9 Section 2 for The Subdivision We Live In. Please remove the plants immediately. Thank you.
Although I appreciate you letting us know that this 'weed' is going to kill our other plants, do you really think we were leaving it there because we like the way it looked? Weeds are prohibited in OUR design guidelines as well and as soon as you can talk Mother Nature in to not raining on the weekend we will be out there removing all of our violations! Also, this noxious weed was growing out of a lantana plant. NOTHING kills lantana!
It seems that you are pulling violations out of your a** in an attempt to collect money from the very few residents who pay their HOA dues EVERY MONTH. With all the foreclosures in the neighborhood and families that, most likely, just can't afford their dues, I am sure you are receiving drastically less money each month. Maybe you could give us a break for having one weed in our yard when there are many other homes in the neighborhood that are overgrown weed fests!
My anger has subsided considerabley after making you send additional copies of this violation letter to me 3 TIMES! Bawahahahahaha!!
After I calmed down I found this violation to be hilarious and will mostly likely include it in a future scrapbook page.
A Shocked and Angered but Eventually Tickled Pink Resident
p.s. I will probably have to let this weed grow up through the lantana AGAIN so I can get a picture!
To my eyebrow for requiring wax and painful strips for me to be seen in public. And once I have separated you, leaving me with an attractive rash/acne in the area where you used to reside. You are making it impossible for me to leave the house, Thank You Very Much!
To DaddyO for requiring 2 alarms in order to get out of bed in the morning, Thank You Very Much. First is his alarm clock that begins blaring at 5am, full blast and never exactly on a station. DaddyO does not lift an eyelid! The second alarm is ME kicking him in the back telling him to turn the hideous noise OFF! I don't need to wake up until 6am, Thank You Very Much! (once again, pre-approved by DaddyO. He told me "You're Welcome!")
Thank you very much to the automatic trash can in our bathroom for getting a stick up its sensor and flipping out just as I had gotten comfortable in bed. After trying to ignore the open-close-open-close-open-close, I had to get out of bed to kick your butt accross the bathrrom turn you off, Thank You Very Much!
The Adventures and Mishaps of Taking Daisy's Picture,
Daisy was yelling and throwing objects at the photographer.
Today she was ALL smiles with no supermodel outbursts!
Her morning started out with some breakfast at a local resort.
Mommy and Daddy all to herself and a plethora of photo backdrops!
A little lemon appetizer before her bagels were served.
Then she got to splash in the fountain.
She didn't even dive in this time!
"Give the palm tree a hug, Daisy!" And she obeyed with a smile on her face.
Gotta take time to smell the geraniums.
This little miss ran around carrying her flower and water cup. I committed a minor party foul by trying to help her carry her drink while we were walking through the lobby. She let me know about my mistake by shrieking at the TOP of her lungs while everyone looked to see how I was abusing my child and didn't stop until her cup was safely back in her arms!!
Secret: place baby on a midsize ledge for photo taking. Baby can not run away! Give baby a flower and have an assistant (DaddyO) give instructions on proper posing. ie..make silly faces to get baby to smile/laugh!
Problem #1: When we receive an hysterical letter from the HOA informing us of ridiculous violations, PLEASE don't throw the letter away. My first thought upon reading this letter was "This will make a perfect Letter of Intent!"
Since I didn't memorize the entire violation, I needed to refer back to this letter for my post. In an attempt to remedy the situation, I had to email the Compliance Coordinator for our HOA and ask if I could please get a copy of the letter. I did not think she would understand why I needed another letter when you had already taken care of the problem!
Problem #2: After receiving a 2nd copy of the violation letter, PLEASE do not delete the email! Now I don't have the proper information to adequately write my Letter of Intent for the second week in a row!
These problems have forced me to include you in my blog post for today!
Your wife who obviously needs to be more clear about her blogging needs and wants!
p.s. Thanks for playing along, DaddyO, and pre-approving this letter so I wouldn't have to skip Julie's meme this week. Everyone knows that it was impossible for you to know I would want to save a Compliance Violation letter!
It's Free Therapy Day! Free Therapy Day! Tra-la-la-la-la!
Sing along with me everybody!
OH Ashton, Thank You Very Much for having a COMPLETE meltdown about the underwear I picked out for you this morning! I thought I was doing everything right when I chose Red Transformer underwear for you AND Bailey. Why oh why did you flip out because Bailey was wearing the ones you wanted to wear? They are EXACTLY the same! From now on, I will be doing us all a favor and let you pick out your own underwear!
To the little girl in Bailey's class, Thank You Very Much for refusing to scoot over so I could sit by my son. Even when I begged nicely! When I come to the school it is to help out the teacher, but mostly to be there and be involved for my son. You can sit by your Mom when she comes to help out! K? And NO, I am not behaving like a child by worrying about who I get to sit by Thank You Very Much!